A Little Joke
By Melana Sedai
based on a blonde joke.


Rebekah, Melana and Janos were shopping in Tar Valon cuz…well, Mother had declared a day off, and so Rebekah and Melana really wanted to go shopping, and Janos had to come along cuz…well, someone had to carry all their stuff. Late that day, Rebekah and Melana, followed by a big pile of junk which was in fact Janos covered in lotsa new stuff bought in Tar Valon with the White Tower’s money, came to a little shop in a street where they’d never been before.

Inside, they found that the unknown place was actually something called an antiquity-shop, where you can buy old stuff for more money than you would have to pay for new stuff in other shops. “Light!!” said the girls. “Bloody ashes” said Janos, and pouted in a manly way. After a lot of ooo-ing and aaaah-ing and “look at this” and “did you see that?” and some “are you two quite finished yet?”, Rebekah discovered something hidden in a dark corner. “What’s this” she asked the old woman who owned the shop. “It’s a mirror”, replied the old one, “but as it happens, it’s also a ter’angreal. Look into it, and tell it something about yourself that you think is the complete truth, and you will be granted three wishes.” Rebekah and Melana looked at each other and grinned, and Melana said “Hee hee, we’ll take it. Just send the bill to the White Tower!”

As they left the shop, the old woman said, “Thank you m’ladies…but beware. It’s a dangerous thing you’ve bought…it was not for nothing that it was kept in the darkest corner of my shop…” A melodramatic pause ensued…till it was interrupted by Janos’ muffled voice from under all the packages, as he yelled “WHAT!?!” The women looked at him with dismay, cuz he shouldn’t be interfering in women’s business. When they were finished glaring at him, the old woman said; “The mirror ter’angreal will indeed give you three wishes if you can tell it an absolute truth about yourself…but if what you say turns out to be a lie…you will disappear!” “Bah! We’re Aes Sedai” said Melana. “Yeah, we can’t lie!” said Bekkah. “But they can make the truth dance a merry jig” muttered Janos, cuz he had been promised a pleasant trip into town on his day off. The old woman raised her eyebrows; “Even Aes Sedai doesn’t always know the utter truth, and if you won’t heed my warning…it’ll be the worst for you” Then she sniffed and went into her shop again. “How rude” said Melana. “Yeah, we should drop a whale on her…or maybe a house…” said Bekkah while glaring in the general direction of the shop. “And then I could Heal her…” said Melana with an evil grin. “Or maybe we could just go home!” grumbled Janos, who’s arms were growing longer by the minute from the weight of all the stuff he was carrying. Rebekah and Melana sniffed, and then they all walked back to the Tower. And even though they had intended to do so, the two Aes Sedai didn’t make a gateway to Melana’s room, cuz they thought that Janos needed a little lesson. After all, it never pays off to interfere in women’s business!!

After a couple of hours, and a couple of shops that looked “sooo interesting, it’ll only take a few moments to check them out, promise! You just wait outside Janos, we’ll be right back” the three of them were finally back in the Blue Quarters, admiring their new toy. “Who wants to try first??” Melana said. “I’ll do it”, said Rebekah, “after all, I found the mirror!” “But I carried the Lightforsaken thing around for several hours” said Janos, “doesn’t that count for anything??” The two women glared at him. “You go first Bekkah!” Melana said. Rebekah went over to the mirror’ter’angreal and said “I think I’m the craziest person in the world!” Poof, it said, and she disappeared. “What??!? Janos, did you see that?? I guess she’s not as insane as she thought after all…well, I guess I should try it now. And when I get my three wishes, I’ll just wish her back!”

Nodding firmly, Melana went over to the mirror and said; “I think I’m the most responsible person in the Blue Halls!!” Poof it said, and Melana disappeared. Janos blinked, scratched his head and said “I wonder where she ever got that notion…?!” Then he sighted and said; “Well, I guess it’s Janos to the rescue then…and there will be no more ‘Janos, carry this, Janos, take that, Janos, wait out here, Janos stand there, it’ll only take a couple of minutes, and not an hour like last time, promise!!’ No siree!!!” Janos went over to the mirror, looked into it and said “I think” and poof, he disappeared.

The End.

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